June 2022 Guitar Newsletter: “Simple Gifts versus the Thief of Joy!”
My 7-year-old son Emmitt has been taking guitar lessons with me for about a year now. We try to get in a weekly lesson and are pretty adamant about sticking to 15 minutes of practice every day. This is not always maintainable, but nonetheless, we have made progress, and for this year’s school talent show, he decided to bring his guitar to the event. I was very happy and also a bit surprised about my son’s decision to play guitar for the event. I was happy in the sense that he chose this on his own and surprised because he is not an extrovert or overly confident in his guitar playing. For sure, I was very inspired by his intuition to do what he can. His decision also reflected that he feels safe and accepted among his classmates regardless of performance. This childlike approach toward playing in front of an audience contrasts so starkly to the reality of high performers in the competitive world of entertainment. Maestro Christopher Parkening's career as a classical guitarist is a model example of this. In this month’s newsletter, I would like to explore this contrast further.
Emmitt still has little, if any sense of competition in his bones. Some of that might be his age, but I think it is also in his genes. He has never shown much interest in having to out do somebody and is remarkably generous with his belongings. When it is time for a treat, he automatically thinks of his sister and loudly calls out for her: “Cora, you want one too?”
The school talent show crept up on us unexpectedly at the end of the school year, and we only found time for a few rehearsals. Initially, he wanted to play one of the melodies from his kid’s guitar method book, but he realized he wasn’t able to read it quite fast enough. In light of this, I suggested why not just give a very open presentation without any notated music and simply demonstrate what he knew about the guitar so far: explain the basic parts of the instrument, demonstrate the names of the open strings, play some warm up exercises, name all the notes he knows and strum a few chords.
Isn’t that a novel thought for any performer? Simply share with the audience what you can do and try your best. Unfortunately, the real world is so competitive and money driven that trying your best doesn’t cut it any more. Sooner or later, we get wind of that, and then comes the “Oh, I must not be good enough” syndrome. I pray my children will have the proper tools to navigate those soul-searching terrains when those dark clouds envelop them.
The damage inflicted and the devastation that can arise when an artist is under too much pressure is wonderfully retold in “Grace Like A River,” the autobiography of Christopher Parkening. He cleverly retells his story in alternating chapters that focus on his two passions: guitar playing and fishing.
In the opening chapter of the book he shares an honest insight into his initial relationship with performing. “When I was about twenty, I heard my mom talking to Ginger Rogers, who was explaining that for her, to be onstage was almost a high. She just ate it up. She adored the applause, the atmosphere, and the electric tension of a live performance. I had been playing concerts for five years and didn’t feel that way at all. It was a high for me when I was off the stage. I never looked forward to performing for its own sake” (p.4).
Later in his career, in the midst of nonstop national and international travels, make or break reviews and critiques of recordings and performances, under pressure to assure high record sales and the intensity of an overscheduled tour, he burnt out one evening in Amsterdam before a concert during a European tour. The prodigy, who had studied with Andre Segovia, did the unthinkable: “A classical guitarist's fingernails are essential tools that must be protected at all times. The right hand nails pluck, strum, and slice across the strings, so they must be longer and perfectly shaped, with their edges polished to remove any unevenness that might cause a scratchy, tinny sound or catch on a string instead of producing a smooth, beautiful tone” (p.5-6). In that lonely hotel room, the thirty-year-old Christopher, in a moment of utter frustration, made the most disastrous decision and filed all his nails completely off, setting himself up for an utterly catastrophic tour. This left America’s finest classical guitar player with only one wish: find a way to stop playing music and retire early. Got you interested in his life, his spiritual journey and the rest of his playing and fishing days? Read the book! It had me hooked!
“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Theodore Roosevelt got that one right. I look at my son and see that he is doing the right thing with the best attitude and has no hidden agenda. He knows he can do something most of his classmates can’t, but he has zero ambition to impress anybody. He isn’t obsessed with playing the guitar, but he also doesn’t mind it. Perhaps because he already has been to a few guitar concerts, he knows that it is normal to perform and that the audience will react positively.
I am so delighted to report the talent show went beyond my expectations. Initially, I got very nervous (what a surprise) when older students went before him and played rather difficult notated classical piano pieces very well. Not phased in the slightest by this, my quiet buddy calmly positioned himself before the crowd and lectured, along with demonstrating what he knew so far about the guitar, without an awkward moment of silence or missing a note. The lack of competitive pressure freed him to do his best.
I hope this month’s newsletter is an encouragement to share whatever it is that we might be able to contribute. May we be free of the destructive snares of the competitive society we live in and be free to delight in the childlikeness of simply sharing with others what we are learning.
Chris
P.S.: Here is a link to my favorite Christopher Parkening recording aptly titled Simple Gifts.
